What is a cuddle party?

The structure

A cuddle party typically lasts four or five hours, at a soft and gradual pace:

• We start by going through the rules.
• We introduce ourselves in a circle and talk about our state and expectations.
• We do exercises that help us feel our body, our emotional state and our intentions.
• Then comes the main part: free space, where the facilitator does not give instructions and people interact freely.
• At the end we wrap up. Guests share their impressions in a common circle.

The free part

People interact in any way within the rules — most importantly, without sexualising the contact. If you want to sit by someone, you ask out loud; same for touch or any other interaction. People tend to hug, sit side by side, gather in small tactile flocks, dance, or sit alone and look on peacefully.

The tricky questions

That simple setting brings up issues that go far beyond the cuddle space. A party is a safe place to try them, get support from guests and the facilitator, and maybe leave with new strategies:

• Understanding what you actually want, and communicating it.
• How it feels to be refused, and how you cope with that frustration.
• How it feels to refuse, and to frustrate someone else.
• What happens when you accept an interaction and then realise you do not want it — and your ability to stop or change it.

The slow space

To make room for that insight, a cuddle party is a slow space. Guests are encouraged to pause before responding to an invitation, or before suggesting one — to stay grounded and in contact with what they really want, and do not want. That is the real way to have a good experience here.