Cuddle party attendance rules
Please make yourself familiar with these rules. Anyone who breaks them or misbehaves may be asked to leave the session.
These agreements protect a slow, tender, non-sexual space for everyone in Coimbra, Porto and Lisboa.
Consent culture
If you wish to start an interaction with one or more people, ask them if you can and wait for their verbal consent or refusal. An explicit “no”, a moment of silence, a vague response or hesitation are all equivalent to “no”. An explicit “yes” as well as other unambiguous, enthusiastic responses (“Of course!”, “Sure you can!”, “Please join in!”) are equivalent to “yes”.
Non-sexual interaction
Please refrain from kissing, stimulating, and touching genital areas as well as other obviously erogenous body parts. Arousal and sexual drive are natural and healthy, but these sessions have different purposes: tenderness, subtle sensitivity, caring embraces and strokes, healing touch, and playful group interaction.
Take care of yourself, of those around you and of the space
Respect your own feelings first: accept interactions that suit you, refuse those that may not. If at any point you feel lonely or aimless, please reach out to the person facilitating. Be mindful of other attendees. Avoid assigning your feelings to others and speak using the first-person singular: “I feel pleased/sad/confused”; “I would like to…”; “I would prefer to…”. Keep the space as tidy and clean as you find it.
Sober attendance
Attendees must not be under the influence of alcohol, drugs or other consciousness-altering substances. Prescribed medication is a different case. If there are any known effects resulting from prescribed medication, please report them to the facilitator.
Tactile interaction, brief words
We privilege tactile interaction and do not foster long conversations. Some verbal exchanges are fine, if kept brief and in a low tone. A verbal thank you is naturally welcome.
Interaction is free and creative
You are not confined to pair interactions nor should you necessarily be driven by likeness to other attendees. You are free to interact with whoever you choose to, and with as many people as you choose to, provided that they all give their verbal consent. Non-interaction is also a possibility.
We welcome every emotion
Laughter, tears, annoyance — as long as it does not lead to disruptive actions. The facilitator is available to show support and appease.
Anyone who breaks the rules or misbehaves may be asked to leave the session.
Why there is no sexual interaction
There are tactile events where showing sexual interest is welcome. A cuddle party is not one of them. The non-sexual agreement is part of how the space stays safe.
Safety
For some people, sexual interest from unfamiliar people causes anxiety. Asexual people and those with low interest in sex may want to cuddle and specifically choose this space because it does not involve sexual interaction.
Slow down
Sexual attraction can close distance very fast. A cuddle party is designed so people have time to understand what is happening to them, and to stay in slow interactions.
Support
Some come for parental, sibling or friendly hugs. The setting helps that fragile, oxytocin-ish contact stay available, instead of tipping into arousal.
A spectrum
There is a huge range of interaction between “we’re hugging” and sex. There is no need to treat touch as a course toward sex. Knowing where you feel secure, resourceful and happy is part of the practice.